When they say it they mean it

The Transnational Online, 11/15

Moments ago, having signed into MS Outlook from an incognito window, I was arrested by the following message: You will expire in 9 days. Would you like to change your password now? Surprise, surprise, this has thrown me headlong into panic, what with the urgent need to choose something easily memorable for the surviving generation, such as Yourfatherisdead or Happydays or Hewaspenniless, but I am systemically rebutted for having ignored protocols concerning caps, numerals and punctuation marks.

Thanks to this unexpected news, brought to me online when I was checking the cricket scores and flicking between tabs, my final 216 hours are now likely to be taken up in a state of distraction while I subject to rigorous examination a number of renewed options compatible with current-day software stipulation. This saddens me. Instead of chats by the fire, handholding and crystal-clear analysis, I will now be lost to my family in a sea of bobbing symbols and crashing letters, which is no way to go out, not when you don’t know your family very well.